Sunday, February 8, 2009

Doctor, Doctor, I tend to flush a lot!
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction
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Why was the centipede dropped from the football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!
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What do whales eat?
Fish & ships
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Why did the boy go to bed?
‘Cos the bed wouldn’t come to him!
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What is a parrot’s favourite game?
Hide and speak!
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Why did the dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!
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Why was the tomato last in the race?
It couldn’t ketchup!
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Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink!
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Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly!
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What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish!
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What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant!
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What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater!
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How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
Pleased to eat you
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What do cats read in the morning?
Mewspapers
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What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
Puss in boots
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What does a bee get at McDonalds?
A humburger!
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What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?
A bee in a submarine!
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What did the spider say to the bee?
Your honey or your life!
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What did one bee say to another in summer?
Swarm here isn’t it!
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Where do bees go on holiday?
Stingapore!
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Why did the turtle cross the road
To get to the Shell station
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What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics
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What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An egg roll!
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What kind of dog chases anything red?
A Bull dog!
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What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiler?
A computer with lots of bites
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What dog loves to take a bubble bath?
A Shampoodle!
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Why do elephants eat raw food?
Because they don’t know how to cook!
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What’s grey with red spots
An elephant with measles
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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
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Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia! Boing Boing
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What do you call an arctic cow?
An eskimoo!
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What is a cow’s favourite TV show?
Dr. Moo!
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What goes ‘peck, bank, bang, peck, bank’?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!
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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
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What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
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Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
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Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric ‘eels!
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What insect runs away from everything?
A Flee!
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How do you start an insect race?
One, two, flea – go!
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How doe fleas travel?
Itch hiking!
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What is a grasshopper!
An insect on a pogo stick
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What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!
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What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!
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What do moths learn at school?
Mothmatics!
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