A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the ch

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried.
"Let's offer them ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
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A cat was running wildly down alleys, up fire escapes, down cellars and what-not. A neighbor knew whose cat it was and reported it. "Your cat is running around like mad."
"I know," answered the owner. "He's just been sterilized and he is canceling engagements."
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